Thursday, July 10, 2008

in my wildest dreams

The house is peaceful and I pretend to have no thesis to write. It is the middle of the night. I couldn’t put my mind to sleep, so I got up to wander. The cat sleeps on the couch, there are music books open on the piano, soft lamplight shows books and laundry draped over various pieces of furniture. There are nice things here, beautiful things that I love - artwork and our wedding album, thoughtful gifts, our instruments, shelves filled with pages of treasure, a clock ticking. The breeze is finally cool by the window, and if I don’t think too far ahead, I am perfectly content. I love our apartment, our life together.

In rare moments I have time to enjoy these things without feeling guilty, or panicked over summarizing the next chapter of Pentecostal ecclesiology. I am eagerly anticipating life post-thesis, when the wonderful world of free time and unfettered thought will once again be opened. I’m sure I will be busy with a myriad of things, perhaps even a real job that makes me real money, but it is the brain space I can’t wait for most of all.

My wildest dreams these days look something like this - spending an evening doing the dishes, then leisurely playing the piano or learning some new chords on the guitar, going for a long walk with Micah under the trees and stars, thinking about rearranging a cupboard, reading a novel till I fall asleep... it’s all so mundane and marvelous. I really am a simple person at heart. Life will be a little more simple come September, and when the leaves begin to change I will trade my academics in for a good ol’ romp in the woods.

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